The Ammanuel Oracle
Five small facts. One forecast. Embarrassingly accurate, optionally delivered by post.
the ammanuel oracle
Give the editors five small facts. They will return a forecast — three fronts, a lucky day, an element of the week, a closing benediction. Optionally by post, every month.
previously consulted · with their kind permission, mostly
The Oracle has, over the years, consulted for several directors, one Federation, and the occasional Vulcan. Forecasts published here with the subject's written, telepathic, or stardated consent.
a reading for
George Lucas
May 14, 1944 · Modesto, California
Taurus sun, Capricorn moon (we suspect)
Mercury enters the prequel house. Resist the urge to digitally remaster anything you've already finished. The desert is, as ever, a metaphor.
lucky · Thursday · the colour of Tatooine at 4 p.m.
a reading for
Steven Spielberg
December 18, 1946 · Cincinnati, Ohio
Sagittarius, with bicycles
A small earnest creature will appear at your back door asking for Reese's Pieces and tax advice. Feed it. Listen to it. Do not, under any circumstances, license it for a theme park ride this week.
lucky · Tuesday at golden hour · bicycle, optional flight
a reading for
James T. Kirk
Stardate 1277.1 · Riverside, Iowa
Pisces rising, command gold
Three diplomatic incidents are queued up before lunch. Two will be resolved by removing your shirt. The third requires actual diplomacy. We're rooting for you on that one.
lucky · Shore leave · any planet rated Class M and forgiving
a reading for
Spock
Stardate 2230.06 · ShiKahr, Vulcan
Half-Aquarius, half-logic
An emotion will visit. Greet it with the seriousness one reserves for a visiting ambassador, then send it home with a small gift. Do not suppress; do not indulge. Eyebrow, raised: optional but encouraged.
lucky · Wednesday, between meditations · the colour of plomeek soup
a reading for
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy
Stardate 2227 · Atlanta, Georgia (Earth)
Cancer, with a tricorder
Someone will ask you to do something outside your jurisdiction. Tell them what you are not, three times, then do it anyway. The bourbon you have been saving is ready.
lucky · Saturday · sickbay, dimmed lights, one good argument
a reading for
Nyota Uhura
Stardate 2239 · United States of Africa
Libra, fluent in seven languages and one silence
A message you've been waiting six months for arrives on the wrong channel. You'll catch it because you always do. Sing this week. Out loud, in the corridor, where the acoustics are good.
lucky · Friday · the third verse of any song you half-remember
a reading for
Hikaru Sulu
Stardate 2237 · San Francisco, California
Virgo with a fencing foil
Botany, swordplay, and a small piloting decision will all want your attention by Wednesday. Do all three. They are, secretly, the same skill.
lucky · Helm shift at 0600 · warp factor 2, for the joy of it
a reading for
Pavel Chekov
Stardate 2245 · Saint Petersburg, Russia
Aries, inwented in Russia
You will be the youngest person in the room and the most correct. Both things, somehow, at once. Resist the urge to footnote.
lucky · Monday · scotch, but only if Mr. Scott is buying
a reading for
Montgomery Scott
Stardate 2222 · Linlithgow, Scotland
Taurus, with dilithium
Promise four hours. Deliver in two. Bask, briefly, in the reputation. Then go drink something the replicator cannot make.
lucky · Engineering, deck 11 · a quiet pint with the warp core humming
a reading for
Jean-Luc Picard
July 13, 2305 · La Barre, France
Cancer, with grapes
Diplomacy in the morning, archaeology by mid-afternoon, an unexpected Shakespeare quotation at dinner. Make it so. The vineyard misses you; call your brother.
lucky · Ready room · 14:00 · one perfectly chosen sentence
a reading for
William T. Riker
August 19, 2335 · Valdez, Alaska
Leo, plays jazz trombone, sits in chairs strangely
A risk presents itself, dressed as a poker night. Take it. The beard is, this week, doing structural work — do not shave it on a Tuesday.
lucky · Ten Forward · 21:00 · the trombone solo no one asked for
a reading for
Data
February 2, 2338 · Omicron Theta
Aquarius, positronic
You will attempt a human idiom and land approximately 87% of it. The remaining 13% will charm someone into a new friendship. Spot will be unimpressed. That is correct of Spot.
lucky · Stardate ending in .3 · a poem about your cat
a reading for
Worf, son of Mogh
December 9, 2340 · Qo'noS
Sagittarius (the warrior, not the philosopher)
Honour is on the agenda twice this week. Once at dawn, once over a beverage that should not, technically, be at room temperature. Both occasions will go better than you fear.
lucky · Tactical · 06:00 · prune juice, a warrior's drink
a reading for
Geordi La Forge
February 16, 2335 · African Confederation
Aquarius, infrared
Engineering wants four hours; physics wants twelve. Negotiate with both. Holodeck Three has a date with a famous physicist that will, against all probability, go well.
lucky · Jefferies tube · any time · the VISOR set to 'warm'
a reading for
Deanna Troi
March 29, 2336 · Betazed
Aries sun, empath rising
Someone close is performing fine and feeling terrible. You will notice in 0.4 seconds. Bring chocolate; bring the good chair; bring the silence you do so well.
lucky · Ten Forward · 16:00 · a sundae the size of your head
a reading for
Beverly Crusher
October 13, 2324 · Copernicus City, Luna
Libra, with a scalpel
A medical mystery resolves itself if you stop chasing it for ninety minutes. Dance instead. Specifically. The body knows. (You already wrote the paper.)
lucky · Sickbay, after rounds · a slow waltz with no audience
All forecasts are editorial fiction. Birthdays and hometowns are a matter of public, or canonical, record. Any resemblance to a real Starfleet officer is entirely the point.